


If 20 years old me met 40 years old me I would punch myself in the face for being such a jerk

by Ewina



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It of Sorts, Melida/Daan, Mentioned Dooku (Star Wars), Mentioned Obi-Wan Kenobi, No Beta We Die Like Clones, Old Qui-Gon Jinn, Qui-Gon Jinn Bashing, The Force is tired of this bullshit, Time Travel, Young Qui-Gon Jinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26580679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ewina/pseuds/Ewina
Summary: Jedi knight Qui-Gon Jinn meets Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn. Sparks are flying.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 353
Collections: Punch Qui-Gon and Adopt Obi-Wan





	If 20 years old me met 40 years old me I would punch myself in the face for being such a jerk

**Author's Note:**

> For Mneiai's September challenge "Punch Qui-Gon Jinn and adopt Obi-Wan".  
> This is crack.  
> No beta

Jedi knight Qui-Gon Jinn had been giving his report to the Council about his mission on Hapes to keep an eye on the developing Consortium there. It had been an uncomfortable mission on a planet where men were treated as second class citizens since their defeat at the hand of the Order, and Qui-Gon was happy to be back on Coruscant where his master was waiting for him and teaching Feemor, his padawan, a human teenager whose previous master had died during a mission and had been entrusted to Qui-Gon to finish teaching. 

As Qui-Gon finished his report, the Council began discussing. He had only heard the name Telos before a bright light surrounded him, forcing him to close his eyes.

Spots were dancing on the back of his eyelids as he tried to understand the words pronounced near him.

“He made the choice to abandon the Order! He chose to stay on this planet. Tahl needed help immediatly, I couldn’t lose time reasonning this idiotic boy out of his crush when she was hurt. Our mandate was to go and free her, to bring her back to the healers. Not play terrorists or soldiers or politicians! I hold onto my words. He made his choice. He betrayed the Order.”

“He is your padawan, your thirteen years… Why are there two Qui-Gon here?” asked Plo Koon.

They turned their heads in his direction, but Knight Qui-Gon Jinn didn’t pay them any mind, too busy looking at this older version of himself, and trying to understand what exactly was happening.

“Who are you?” screeched the older version of himself. 

Qui-Gon was really not impressed by his future self and wondered where his master was, for Yan Dooku would certainly not tolerate him having an hissy fit in front of the Council, and seriously… had he managed to lose his brain with his padawan? The Force itself was screaming the answer to his question but his future self was deaf to it.

“I’m you, Moron. Which is also the reason why I know you were lying through your teeth when you said the boy chose to stay on whatever planet he was on for a crush, and also about him betraying the Order. Now please… what situation did you leave a child in?” Qui-Gon felt like slapping himself at so much stupidity. What had happened to turn him into that moron?

Plo Koon was the one who gave him the first part of his answer, a really displeasing answer.

“They were sent on Melida/Daan, which has been stuck in a civil war for more than a century between the two populations of the planet. Master Tahl had been sent there to try and put an end to the conflict but one of the sides captured and tortured her. Jinn and his padawan were sent to bring her back to the Temple alive.”

Qui-Gon Jinn pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. Where was Master Dooku when he needed him? And how could the entire Council lose their brain cells at the same damn time?

“So you are telling me that you sent a master-padawan pair to a war-torn planet knowing that they had no qualms about torturing a peaceful envoy? A master-padawan pair with a child padawan was sent to rescue a captured jedi MASTER?” Qui-Gon’s voice had reached an impressively high pitch on the last word. “Are you all morons? What happened between my time and now for everyone to be so… so… so stupid? What kind of morons are you to decide to send a child in the middle of a civil war where a jedi master had been tortured? And where is my master? There is no way he knew about this stupidity. He would kill me if I was stupid enough to take Feemor in this kind of situation and Feemor is almost an adult!” Qui-Gon was screaming at the end of his tirade, breathing harshly in the shocked silence his words had created. “Now. What. Happened?”

“There is a third faction, a group named the Young composed of children from both the Melida and the Daan. They are guerilla fighters who try to stop the war by destroying the other side’s weapon supplies. But they are going to fail.”

“And I suppose our padawan wanted to help them instead of abandoning them.”

“It was not the Will of the For…” the older Qui-Gon began to speak only to be cut off in his sentence by a punch from his younger self.

“Not the Will of the Force or not your Will? You disgust me. I can’t imagine what could turn me into such an emotionless asshole. I have no idea either about the why I’m here but I suppose that it must be to clean up your messes. You are a pathetic excuse of a human being and I’m ashamed just thinking about the fact that we are the same person. No matter what I will never let myself become you! Dying would be a better fate.”

And on those words, Knight Qui-Gon Jinn left the room. He had a master to contact, a padawan to bring home, a planet to save and a future to stop, and no one would get in his way, he swore, the Force trilling happily in his ears. 


End file.
